idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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