she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
