Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
