Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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