there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
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Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
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just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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