So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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