Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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