i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
bring money and cleavage
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
