you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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