So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
