and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
