What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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