Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
