Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
