it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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