You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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