Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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