Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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