if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
