i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
