Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
