I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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