the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
