omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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