The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
