I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
