there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
