Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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