And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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