He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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