Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize