I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize