Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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