Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How's work?
Spinning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
