Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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