my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
