My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
