Pants 0. Shit 1.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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