Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
