I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize