I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
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So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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