I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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