so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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