I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
