He is an equal opportunity slut.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
