Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
