Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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