Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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