Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
