me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
