I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
