My nipple is on Facebook.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
