i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
