I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
