I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
