Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
