I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This is not my ceiling
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
