Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
