Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
