her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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