I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
