He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
