i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize