Swine flu. Run for my life!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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