But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
