It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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